


Scene From a Romantic Comedy (previously known as Something to Say)

by Sitcom_Fan



Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: F/M, rated Mature for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sitcom_Fan/pseuds/Sitcom_Fan
Summary: James is leaving Derry. Erin can't let him get away that fast.
Relationships: James Maguire/Erin Quinn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Scene From a Romantic Comedy (previously known as Something to Say)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thenewwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thenewwriter/gifts).



> Hello AO3 community!
> 
> This is basically an alternative ending to series 2 episode 6. If you're following my "The Tale of the Wee English Fella" series, I'm still working on that one so don't panic - I haven't abandoned it.
> 
> I've got several ideas for one-shots and I couldn't keep this one away from the world any longer, so here it is!
> 
> Thanks to my good friend and creative partner Thenewwriter for giving me the motivation to write this!

Erin froze. James had just announced he was leaving - immediately. Erin - and the other girls - were incredulous. Surely it wasn’t like him to just leave suddenly - wasn’t he more dependable than that, despite his Englishness? Suddenly, Erin was no longer sure. The girls all pleaded for him to stay, but to no avail. James was returning to London and there was nothing to stop him.

Michelle, however, was not willing to give up so easily. And nor was Erin. Michelle began to follow James through the growing crowd of people waiting eagerly to hear Bill Clinton speak. Erin turned to Clare and Orla. “Look, there’s something I need to do. I’ll be back.” She hurriedly sneaked through the crowd, trying not to be noticed.

Michelle and James proceeded through the archway on the edge of the square and Erin hung back, hoping that Michelle would be able to persuade James to stay. He was her cousin after all, and she knew him best. Erin peered through the archway and up the cobbled street, watching as Michelle redoubled her efforts to change her cousin’s mind. But it was futile. Michelle turned around dejected as James continued to walk away. Out of Derry. Out of their lives. For good.

Suddenly, Erin darted through the archway. “Oi, you English prick!” she shouted. James turned around. Sure, he didn’t look thrilled to see Erin, but at least she had his attention.

“Erin, what the fuck?” Michelle gasped, having not previously noticed her friend had followed her.

“In a minute, Michelle!” Erin snapped. Michelle stood still.

“Erin, please!” James sighed. “Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be!”

“Would you listen to yourself!” Erin scoffed. “You’re telling me not to make this hard when it’s you who’s pissing off back to London!”

“I don’t understand!” James said. 

“Well, I just can’t believe you feel you can just bugger off at the drop of a hat!” Erin snapped. “I mean, after everything we’ve experienced together. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“I’ll never forget it and I will miss you all and I promise I’ll write, but as I said earlier, I don’t belong here,” James said tearfully.

“What the feck is that supposed to mean?” Erin yelled.

“Do I really need to explain?” James huffed.

“I think you owe us an explanation at the very least!” Erin spat.

“Very well then,” James responded scornfully. “Listen to my accent.” He paused. “Does that answer your question? Let me elaborate: I’ll never belong in a place where so many people write me off just because I was born in the wrong country. Have you any idea what it’s like? Course you haven’t! Let me remind you I can’t even go to the boys’ school!”

“Ok, fair point,” Erin conceded. “But it’s not your fault you're English and that a lot of your kind were bastards in centuries gone by - and more recently for that matter. We wouldn’t be the same without our wee English fella! You’re one of us!”

“That’s what I tried to tell him!” Michelle shouted with exasperation.

“Is that so?” James asked incredulously, faking a disparaging laugh. “Then explain to me why you mock and belittle me every fucking day for something that you said yourself isn’t my fault! And why, when some new girl came along who you thought was exotic - even though she’s only from bloody Donegal and also a fucking unhinged psychopath - you were ready to ditch me, to coin a phrase, at the drop of hat! Although not before you employed my services as a shopping assistant. You’re full of shit, Erin, you know that? You’re seriously trying to lecture me about buggering off. Well take a look in the fucking mirror and you may see what a two-faced hypocrite you are!” James folded his arms, confident that Erin would have no response.

“Ok, those are all valid points,” Erin admitted, feeling upset that James had called out her hypocrisy even though he was right. She softened her tone in the hope that she’d have a better chance of getting through to James. “We weren’t really going to ditch you. We were just teasing! Ok, we do mock you but that’s only because Derry is a fecking strange place - and I say that as someone who grew up here - and we only wanted to help you acclimatise. Please believe me.”

“If you say so,” James muttered stiffly, still unconvinced by Erin’s passionate plea.

“You can’t leave us, James,” Erin sobbed. “You just can’t!”

“For fuck’s sake!” James snapped. “Why are you so desperate for me to stay? Because if you’ve got a killer argument or a really compelling reason as to why I should stay I’d love to hear it!”

“Because I love you, you wee English fecker!” Erin snapped.

James’s anger vanished instantaneously and the confused, awkward and very English James that Erin knew and loved was back. She couldn’t help but smile at how she’d burst his seemingly impregnable bubble of anger. “You...love me?” James stammered.

“Yes, I believe I did use those words,” Erin said with a confident smile.

“I’m confused now,” James said slowly. “You love me, as in romantically? But I’m English!”

“Yes, that is true,” Erin acknowledged. “But I don’t care about that because I love you!”

“I’m sorry,” James said nervously, “I’m just having a hard time processing this.”

“Processing?” Erin snorted with amusement, taking care not to sound scornful. “What are you, a fecking computer?” Look, James, I didn’t want to do this in public but you leave me with no other choice. Close your eyes.”

Reluctantly, James closed his eyes and prayed that he was in for a pleasant surprise. His prayers were answered when Erin pressed her lips to his. It was a brief kiss, but that was all it took to send a tingle down his spine that he felt throughout his body.

“Do you get the message now?” Erin asked gently with a smile.

“You meant it, didn’t you?” James whispered as a shy, tentative smile formed on his face that made Erin want to kiss him all over again. 

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,” Erin replied sincerely. “Look, James, it’s your life but I felt you should have the full facts so you can make an informed decision.”

“How long have you felt like this?” James asked.

“A long time. I just never felt brave enough to tell you and I didn’t want to miss my chance to tell you before it was too late,” Erin explained. “Would you find it in yourself to reconsider?”

“It would be rude not to,” James chuckled and winked at Erin confidently. “I like you too, Erin, but I didn’t think in a million years you’d give me a look in or like me because of, well...I don’t need to finish that sentence. I thought the actress who plays Libby in Neighbours would be a more realistic romantic prospect!”

“What’s not like? You’re a cracker fella and any girl who can’t see that doesn’t deserve you,” Erin said.

“So, does that mean we’re a couple then?” James asked.

“If you want us to be,” Erin answered, “Which I think you do.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” James said enthusiastically as he held out his hand, which Erin gladly took. She melted inside at the sight of his infectious, goofy smile. This boy didn’t know the strength of his own charm. "Look, I'm sorry I said those horrible things to you."

"It's ok, Mammy would probably say I needed to be brought down a peg or two," Erin chuckled.

The newly formed couple turned around to find Michelle standing with her hands on her hips, mouth agape, staring with disbelief. “Well, fuck me!” she muttered.

**Author's Note:**

> The main reason I wrote this was I really wanted Erin to declare her love for James in a fit of rage.
> 
> I didn't think it would turn out so full of expletives but writing an angry James was surprisingly good fun!
> 
> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> UPDATE 13/12/2020
> 
> I have renamed this fic because I think the new title sounds better :)


End file.
